if i had a penny

if i had a penny
a penny for your thoughts
I'd buy back the time
and erase every thought
every minute for lesser pain
to do it again i'd screw you again
if i had a penny
a penny to spend
it surely wouldn't go to waste on you ever again
oh if i had the time it wouldn't be worth a dime
if i had the rhyme it wouldnt bring back the time
but who the fucking cares you weren't worth any of mine

closed eyes are often immune

eyes closed
the world shut
shutting out
the world through
shutting my
eyes closed,
closed off all
eyes
immune
to the pain
but it still shuts me out
when my eyes are restrained
by the magnetic waves
from the atmospheric decay
and gravitys pulling its own weight
down upon me like sharp jagged fangs

the distance of nothing

without you
I see nothig
the blind cold light
of a snowy alley
alone without you
I see nothing quite as clearly
as looking into the distant horizon
and seeing everything as nothing
just a world
on busy streets
with busy cars
my life
a life less progressive
try living your life inside house
always worried of going out

I feel so alone...
how do you measure the distance of that?
how do you measure the distance of nothing

Remember the Fangs?

remember when the fangs

of death dawned

fear surrounded us

questions ever growing

concerns

that are going

through my head

filling me up

and then shooting me out

shutting me in

so i can never escape

a death worse than fate

remember when I bit your neck

you stood there poised, stiff delicate,

deceased

the moon is bears its intoxicating essence

remember the fangs?

Meet your maker

Take me now

and do me how

make me meet my maker!

teach me how to push it harder

and make me 'come' a believer

then bend you over and have you meet your maker

I'm gonna make you 'come'

And I'll make sure you are a believer

Gonna meet your maker

Final destination HILL, I'm going down

Take me now

Red Guitar - Short story by me

Re Guitar

There was once a man by the name of Steven Dumplo. He always seemed to be interested in music, although he never played a real instrument in his entire life. One day, when Steven was walking home from school, he looked in his pocket to see if he had any money to buy an electric guitar. He looked through the window of the store and noticed one truly amazing guitar. He stared at it with wide eyes. His hope was lost when he saw the price tag for four thousand dollars. Just as Steven turned to walk home the most out of the ordinary thing occurred. Four thousand dollars fell out of the sky. As he snatched the money on the road a car comes by and smashed him beyond recognition. Steven was later pronounced dead. A man appeared on the scene by the name of John Eden. He saw the money and grabbed it. As he looked across the street, the window with the red guitar caught his eye. He was in awe over this extraordinary guitar. He walked into the store and told an old man, the owner of the store, that he wanted to purchase the red electric guitar. The old man told John that it was unsafe and that it was cursed.

An old rocker owned the guitar, and had played the guitar until it possessed him to kill himself in a luxury hotel in Los Angelas. John listened quietly to the old man as he drew tears down his eyes, as he told the story of the cursed guitar. The man continued to tell stories of how many people had died while trying to posses the guitar.

Some have claimed to see the guitar in action. The guitar’s sound is fast paced, yet unmistakably warm feeling. Some people believe that the owner owns the guitar, but in fact, it is the guitar that owns the owner. A guitar like this can go a long way, to a point of self-destruction and paranoia.

"Although nothing serious has happened since…since..," the old man began to trip over his words. He continued, "Well nothing happened since the accident a minute ago, when the man found the money on the road".

The old man continued, "This guitar feeds on deaths and murders. Another death and this will be a shame. This guitar is very old, dangerous and not meant for an inexperienced person like you. And therefore I will not allow you to take this guitar". I know the way that old black magic works! I know, I know, said the old man angrily. "Yes, but mister, you do have it on sale" replied John. "Well, yes I do, but I am not selling to the likes of you". "I have the money I demand the guitar now". John’s eyes turned dark and fierce. He was not acting like himself. It seemed like he was being controlled by someone or something. Who it was he was, He was unaware. John seemed obsessed with the guitar. John decided to make the man give him the guitar even if it meant death. The guitar shone near the steel glass window of the store. John stood silent just looking at the guitar in a trance. Then John started yelling , " I want the guitar now! Give me the guitar now!" John screeched and raved on about the guitar. Little did he know the guitar would be the death of him. John pulled out a gun and shot the old man. He ran over to the window where he had seen the guitar. untouched and unmoved for years. John grabbed the guitar and put it in a black guitar case and left the store quickly. He went home to his apartment.

John arrived home and set his guitar on the floor of his bedroom. That is when the oddest thing happened. As he turned his head towards the kitchen he saw the guitar standing there. He headed towards the kitchen and picked up the guitar in shock and surprised at how the guitar made it from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was as if it had been following him. John noticed that the scratches on the guitar had disappeared and had the never been used look. John thought about what the old man had said about the guitar. It was then that he tried to erase the haunted image of the man’s dark pale face in his mind. Then John turned and headed for the phone, and almost panicked. He did not want to be the only one to see the guitars odd magic curse. So he called his girlfriend and told her to meet him at the old café. He needed to explain to her everything about the curse of the guitar before he went on stage that night.

As he talked to her, the old man’s voice crept into his head and asked " How does it feel John? How does it feel to be a rock star? Was it all that you ever wanted? Was it everything you hoped and dreamed for? Was it worth killing me for?

John shouted " Shut up, shut up!" Now everything faded and John woke up and had forgot he was on the phone with his girlfriend. It had seemed by then that she had hung up with all the frustration of trying to tell John to calm down. John then got dressed up in his stage clothes and grabbed his guitar and headed to the old café.

He tried to get through the front door but it was jam packed with lots of people.

John took a seat and sat down and waited patiently for his girlfriend Shannon to show up. It had felt like John had been stood up for a no show. Thirty minutes turned into an hour of boredom and now that boredom turned to anger. He was upset that she had stood him up making him look like a fool sitting there all alone. John wasn’t paying any attention to what was going on around him. He clicked in to a phase much like the one that had occurred when he was on the phone with Shannon and the voice of the old man that he had killed. "How does it feel John? How does it feel to know your loved one is dead?" John tried to ignore everything up to the point of when the old man mentioned Shannon. The old man spoke in his grassy eerie voice "She’s dead at ten o’clock". John woke up feeling afraid and panicky. He got up off his chair and ran out of the café and headed all the way across town trying to reach Shannon’s house. He got there just before ten o’clock which was a good thing. John went inside and saw that she had been brushing her hair nice and softly. John walked across the room to reach Shannon. She got up and turned around and said "what are you doing here?" John told her what had happened but he did not explain the ways of the cursed guitar. John lay down and closed his eyes and listened to the sound of his girlfriend playing his guitar. She played it nice and softly, until she tried to get the guitar off her. Until the strap of the guitar came off and went around her neck. It choked her in an instant, her hand was bleeding from playing the guitar for too long. John was already fast asleep by then and when he woke up he saw the body of her lying down on the floor. It was the most gruesome sight he had ever seen in his life. He grabbed his guitar and decided to get to the night show and destroy the guitar on stage and he could not refuse the money in all this. To him, sure his girlfriend was killed and he cared a lot about her, but now there was no turning back. Once he would step on stage he would have to face the music. John arrived at the largest concert in the world, he got up on stage for his final act of the show, which lasted twelve hours long for almost each song. The reason why he couldn’t stop was because, if he did, the guitar would kill him on the spot in front of fourteen million people. After the end of the song it didn’t matter if this guitar made him a star or even if it made him play better. He just wanted his old life back. John trashed the guitar so many times trying to make one dent into it but no luck what so ever. He smashed it against a wall and on the stage floor he threw it into the crowd. As he turned to head off the stage the guitar was right in front of him and he grabbed it again and shattered it into pieces. John received a big applause from millions of people. The reviews were excellent said his manager. John decided to leave the recording business- it just wasn’t for him. John got into his car. The seat belt clicked in for him as if possessed and the stearing wheel began to go on its own. John looked at the rear view mirror and saw the guitar in his back seat. John wasn’t watching where the car was going all he knew was the roads were too icy. And this was for sure the final ending of his journey. He went sideways off a bridge and into the icy waters. John struggled to get the seat belt off but by then, he had already swallowed too much water and drowned in the waters.

Ten years later an old fisherman in Portland, Maine was fishing and caught seaweed and to his surprise he saw a shinny red guitar. Which later he gave to his granddaughter Suzan and so the curse begins yet again.

"Untitled story" ? unfinished...

　

　

misty dreams, foggy dew, smell of forests, morning campfire smoke, I awoke and the sun blinked twice and smiled and opened its golden mouth and said, "Hello there son how are you, i biiiid you GOOD day...." but then i looked away and looked back, and the sun vanished like a time lapsed ahead, and the moon was angry and said "you must be punished" and i did look at my watch realize the hands on my clock were faces. the
watch on my wrist turned into a small garden snake and moved about me, slithering down
my arm and onto the grass.
I stood up i felt devoured by the trees but at the same time i felt calm
by the breeze and the ever changing skies. I felt peace here but only for a moment
this must be my birth, i know i lived to see it for a million cycles now, 68 days, 68 years
in a reality I have unheard of this has all now changed but I felt like the envy of man inside this strange land because nobody could understand something quite as real as nature. time seemed but the differences of time here is night and day seems so fast your rarely sleep but still feel alert to carry on but some people would naturally die because the time process ages you and when your days are shorter time seems to zoom, essentially what i am saying is life disappears before your eyes if you don't keep your guard up but not that you really can prevent anything from happening you can only prepare yourself.
think of it this way, you know how some people say they wish they could
watch their lives flash before their eyes, well here you can watch time literally grow and watch your physical changes by day because day would equal a year and another three days is another three years. one interesting thing is you can remember your birth because
time and days were short you could literally touch your dreams because it seemed like dreams that were passing not staying although eventually you age so fast the memories become blurs and the mind turns to insanity as form of only release or as sign of explanation. I woke up in this forest, i feel i been here before, i still smell the trees, the air is delicious i can smell hamburgers on a barbeque or ribs with a tangy sauce smells just moving and swaying me side to side. reminds me of when i went camping with my mom and of course my dad when he was around, he left my mom he had a drinking problem and got abusive, i heard them fight a lot, and i heard a lot of crying and i felt i couldn't do nothing ... that was two days ago, i was 10 , I am 12 now but I can still sort of piece together my life as I wander through this unknown forest trying to figure out just how I would up here in the first place. Keeping on the trails following the line of path not to stray off though there were very few trails to tread upon in such a forest such as this. I had to hurry before sundown or another year will leap, i had to get to somebody before it was too late. it was 3:40 in the afternoon, the sun was still very bright but it was going down in about 6 it would start to go, by the time i wake up tomorrow I could be in a different place, whos to say i will be here tomorrow? I need to know how I got here today.I was aware i was aging but what i wasnt aware why I was here. I found a shack up ahead it was old and beaten and it looked like it had been abandoned for quite some time, the door was small but round the shack almost looked like a tiny outhouse, it was mahogany and the top roof was a dirty blue very rough-edged, the carpenter who made this house must have been on something, like a drug or something, but who is to say that I am not on something? i still could not grasp why the moon spoke to me with such anger. I made a bed in the shack out of newspapers i had found from a damp moldy box in the corner, it had a stench of death which lingered in a way that not too many things do. in other words the smell could repel or render someone sick. although no matter how bad the box, the old grubby shack still seemed to be more of a safety net then the rainy doleful outdoors. as the rain fell as the night turned to day I sat under a sheet one newspaper which covered the top of my head, i could not begin to think, i did not want tomorrow to come, i needed today, today was my only chance, tomorrow i will be thirteen years old, I feel like i am still hallucinating but I can't tell if its that or time is lapsing. I feel like i am being munipulated by gears, gears that chain me to my death. I ripped the newspaper off my face and sit up straight on the shakey wood floor, the floor felt like it was shaking more than usual. I got up, checked around, took in what i could and concluded i am going mad, i need to find my home. The boy inside me wanting to go home. home? then it became apparent, maybe my parents are looking for me, maybe if i leave they will stand a better chance of finding me? but with al this rain tumbling down its seemed that they would most likely not be searching. Running down the trail , my heart racing with desire to find my parents, i felt 12 going back 4 days i was younger, that child is still apart of me but as of tomorrow march 13th i will be a teenager but somewhere else. Running, running i fall face flat in the pile of mud. my body facing down, diagonal all twisted up like a flailing contortionist on the dirt road,
2
morning settled around though I had only received very little sleep for how very little time I got before I woke. it seemed to have drained the damn life force out of me because that morning I never experienced so much disorientation, and it did not help I could not see the full view or the road because head was baring down in the ground, it seemed to shade and avoid all other ojects surrounding me and it made me feel more engulfed. Every day begins this way, same as was the day before and that same pepetual doom that I feel from experiencing my life in days should scare me but it doesn't, doctors who tried to rationalize it can't even give my "disease" a name. All these thoughts overloading each circuit i tried to forget the past and work past getting my head off the ground i felt chain bound until I saw a light filling the black gaps of my life as I saw reality restored. Everything felt unclear in the dark and in the dark the mind can create many dangerous or many wonderful awe inspiring images. the mind doesn't fail un-noticed in the dark, in fact the mind becomes the centre of attraction. Its the law of the darkness. Though it was here in the darkness I felt most secure and it made wonder if death/letting go as hard as holding on? and is holding on to all this running all this running and aging, the stress and confusion surrounding my whereabouts and the whereabouts of my parents. I got off the ground looked around the the road, felt the sun still hitting me like the thumb of god crushing me.

Sage of the Seers - Divine or Hell? or maybe left in between ? - Salvia report #2

I was sitting on the veranda at night, with a notepad, a pen and music, i had my pipe filled to the top with pure salvia divinorum, I speak of it so often in my notes because the feelings i felt were unearthy, perception flickers from normality to madness.

I found myself in hysteria, perspiration pouring down my face like you wouldn't believe, I found myself staring blank down at the rug on the ground, the rug has big thick bold lines going every which way, the lines curved and it looked like the rug was coming to life, formation patterns began to form, and to my gaze I fell deeper into another level of conciousness and being. here's my thoughts

when I was sinking deeper I was listening to "Something" by the Beatles with my earphones on. I was thinking while i was on salvia, "I'm changing! Oh man I want out of this! wait I can't, I have to let go but I can't what if I don't make it back? what if this is all there is a plain existance where NOTHING CAN EXIST the only the lines, the pattern pieces, IT'S SO DAMN FRAIL what if it breaks?!!"

then I began to wonder if I change will the music I'm listening to change with me? then I heard a voice inside my head forcing me in, I couldn't go any further but it presisted on taking me down to the witches cauldron. It was scary, and the more i felt like falling in the further my mind escaped from reality, I knew that all wasn't lost yet, I still had a grip of the life-preserver, I knew as long as I held on nothing could harm nor touch me. I held onto the belief that soon I'll be home, though it can be hard to know where home is when your on the drug. another thing I remember quiet distinctly was that



"someone is throwing a party, a party for someone real important, maybe it was like a last supper for someone important, who knows, All I remember was in my head a voice said "Don't resist it, come in, we are waiting, there's a party, you're invited, We need you, You know you are important to US, We need you, remember yesterday when we went the factory where the machines were, remember?" it was like they were explaining to me that maybe in alternate world of salvia, I had a place or meaning of considerable value, they acted as if they knew me sooo well, they knew every fear and if I resisted they'd play against me, If I cooperated then they'd return me back when I resisted that is when they dragged me in and then my head began to shack spasm like, It was like "this is the way we flow" my head shakes, "Now this is the way you come in" and then i was obliterated into a thousand lost pieces so thats when I got up grabbed my notepad, music and ran into the house and as I ran I felt dizzy, scared, confused but I felt overwhelming sense of relief because the effects were beginning to wore off. I think I took 4 puffs the first beginning i felt nothing, then i took another 3 mins later i felt a lil something by the 4th hit I was only eyes that could see out, I couldn't feel my self, I mean I could but it felt tingly numbish but I could still feel. There is just so much that happened and some of it is vague even now, though I can never forget the important signifigance had placed on me. when i got inside the house I went up and gave the dog a hug, I was so happy to be home safe like i knew I would :)

The come down is very euphoric, It feels almost like a high I get off weed only a little different and not as fun lol.
What's amazing is salvia effects the brain unlike other hallucinogens, it has no alkloids and the significant igredient in salvia divinorum is called salvinorin A most salvia plants contain salvia A which is soley responsible for the cause of psychoactivity found from smoking it. other plants of Salvia contain Salvinorin B, C and more I'm pretty sure. I've done all my research and know all there is that is known about it. from the use of it with the indigenus Maztac shamans and so

PepperMint GLoW

Destination desolation
Feel my ego seperating
my numb

clam

my

hands

embrace
the warm peppermint glow
it's touch, touch loosely
and let go
then fall back
recline into another waking dream
where sanity meets half-way
to the half-way house
where hope dies
when the person is denied
the priviledge to excerise
the right to leave

salvia experience, a personal endeavor into depths of...

Written on : Monday Nov 7th, 2007
date of experience: Sunday morning, nov the 6th, 2007, (took place anywhere from 11am-12pm)

It is hard to believe that I am here still today after the shock I put my body through. It was not even a shock.. it was more like going in a truck full speed towards a brick wall without even slowing down. The feeling is so hard to relate to and hard to even concieve. It's a dark a feeling, like a wave clouding everything you are... drowning you within it's vicious currents.
I kid you not I only did one big toke of this Salvia shit and I was fucked.. My first time I felt nothing but I believe it is partly due because I did not inhail it correctly... My second time was...wow...intense...mind-blowing...hard-to-put-my-finger-on-it.

It was a dose possibly too strong for me. I did this the second time out of skeptism. I had no idea what I was in for..I said these exact words...

Guy: Do you feel anything?
Me: No I don't feel anything.....

and suddenly as these words dribbled out of my mouth.. I felt the touch of Salvia creep down the back of my head like a slithering snake. My face felt numb and freezing cold..I believe that Salvia adapts to the environment in which you do it in.. for example : If you do Salvia outside and it's cold or just chilly then Salvia takes that and enhances the feeling.. It amplifies the feeling 100X more colder than it would be for someone who wasn't on drugs.

I have no doubt that it plays with your mind...but only if you let it..but I warn you fighting it doesn't make it any better or any easier.. In fact if you are a newbie extra careful on the amount of Salvia you do.. it's not a joke.. it's the real shit...DO NOT MESS WITH IT! it's a dangerous hallucinogen and I can't believe that it is really legal in Canada.. You can walk to your nearest Big Bee and purchase this potent extract leaf for $15 or $30 or $50
the higher the price the better and more potent the Salvia will be.

Now back to my experience..
As I said these words "I don't feel anything"
the feeling then creeped me up by surprise and held me in it's place for about 5 minutes but if you want to know the real length of my trip.. then it was approximately 10 minutes but it felt like 10 hours... time seemed strained... everything was slower and colder... and when I tried to walk my legs felt unknown to me...
When I look back on my trip.. I think was it all for the better? Did I learn anything? would I do it again?
and the answer to all that is the same YES, YES, YES!
I learned a great deal of knowledge from this.. and even though I was scared shitless at the time it still feels like I somehow benefited from it.
I also later realized that I experienced what is formly known as "Ego-Death", I experienced a loss of my self almost completely and I regained in a new form of mind. I became something, or someone else.. I became...and I kid you not! I became a machine... Well more like a Gear or a wheel in a machine and I could feel a crank turning round and round.. I felt like a toy.. and people that I was hanging around with weren't tripping but they sure saw me trip and I heard them say things behind my back.. i was become increasingly paranoid. I had thought they had set me up. That they knew that I was a toy that they could use... and they told me that "It's time to go back to the factory to get fixed"
that's what I had heard.. It's scary because I felt like now I was not Bryan Sheldrick.. I had became Product No. 7... which was nothing and I had became non-existant... I Had Died! apart of me died and I don't know if it really did die or not but when I think about it something happened and it caused me to lose something that maybe or may not have been there in the first place but I don't know... everything is still hazey and when i was tripping I felt the strong sedated relaxation feeling running through me as well. and everything was just fake and unreal or maybe surreal... everything was distorted and my preception was no longer clear of anything other than the fact that I was FAKE I repeat F.A.K.E.... !
i WAS NOTHING to nobody and nobody was nothing to me... and the wheels and the metal gears were the only things that now mattered in my life... nothing else was there. no one was there just the gears and the faces of my old-friends...but at the time i wasn't even sure if they were even friends.. cos they wanted to take me back to the factory.. and I refused.. I told them I am not ready to go back there... I WAS FIXED! and i don't need anyone to take me anywhere. They convinced me that I was defected and I convinced them that they too were defected fraud-like machines!
I was buttoning up my jacket like I was putting on a suit.. like a toy-suit... if that makes any sense lol. It was a fucked up five minutes.. and i walked back to the shelter and time was slowly disperportioned in such a matter that was hard to lay a finger on it...

I came back in to the shelter and laid down on the couch in the room and clinged to the couch as well as my self. I was holding on for dear life.. praying to god that this trip would soon be over and that I will be alright again and that I will know myself as BRYAN and no longer be "this-old-toy"
whenever I heard that word "HEART" or "BEAT" or "PULSE" I plugged my eyes with my hands trying to tune it out... I didn't want to hear this... I did not want to see this... I did not want to endure this madness bud I had no other choice.. I even recall myself saying "I want to go back, I wish I had never smoked this shit ever" but I knew full well that I couldn't ever, ever, ever, ever go back to finding myself..
after 15 minutes I became aware and I became normal once again..
Do I recommand this ? well maybe and may not.. it has it perks and it's highs but don't be fooled because it can take you on a ride to fucking hell and back in 5 minutes or less.

Making nothing out of Nothing

you're trying to undue what has been done
Your trying to see the truth in what everyone says
but you've got something to worry about
when you're making up stories with no facts
You're turning away a good friend
because you assumed things
you are making nothing from nothing
believing in lies, lies, lies
and your trying to seek justice
for something nobody did
You are making too much out of nothing
from nothing at all
You are making too much of a deal
from nothing at all
You base you're facts
around nothing at all
You have no actual proof
it's time you confess
you don't know shit
cos' your making nothing from nothing
making nothing out of nothing at all
Just guilt-ridden lies in the clench of you're hands
you've got nothing on no one
You've got nothing against anyone
because you make too much of nothing
out of nothing
you make too much of a big
of a little thing
oh, you make nothing from nothing
a pile oh shit on doorstep
that you created yourself
You make too much of a deal
too much of a big thing
too much of monster
that you can't bring to tame

Remember Me Empty

Remember me empty
never half full,
never on the go
always alone.

Remember me nothing
No memories, no feelings.
I'll express my soul
in calligraphy confusion.

Remember me dead
remember my life
what I lived and endured,
All the lessons never learned
All the time spent wasted
All the tears wasted
could fill this room.

Founded

founded by family
bounded by gravity
brought forth by fate
united all hearts even ones that are late
senseless reels the empty head
thoughts fill the unopened mind
unquestioned
are the emotions
emotions that render hold those
who claimed to be untouchables
touched now forever or forever hold your peace
pieces together conjoined forever
are hearts that unite all hearts
and then the questions are answered
through your eyes soft spoken i see
the answer is not a notion
love is the answer the unspoken potion.

The ExiT DreAm /A Lie/Beeseeched by a lie/ A Lie

The Exit Dream

like a plague among mans race
the chase was long the demons rode on our backs for days
the exit dream waas approaching fast
and the the plague that would end mans race
the chase would be long
but it was ours to take
the exit dreams is approaching now
we can run but we all can't escape it

a lie?
A lie, a lie, alie
A llie?
a lie, a lie, alie

we reached to the top of the climb
when we reach the opposite side
the exit becomes and entrance
to a better life
or have we all been deceived by a lie?
a golden gate prophecy, god waving flags
we reached to the top of the climb
the opposite side
we found nothing there so we felt trapped
is this the world of the unknown go
when they just don''t know?

a lie?

have you been beseeched by a lie
heavens dream crushed before you
like a wall you thought would hold
your everlasting bounty for you
well it all washed away like down a river
that went dry long ago before you were born
have you ever felt trapped?
have you ever been n the centre ring
the entertainment or the showman
who the circus freak act
the top of the line acrobats

a lie?
a lie, a lie, a lie?
a lie?

Gears that form/worldtraped

the gears formed...

....a chain
I was the master
but please let me explain
how I came in
and found the machine
it was a multi-unit disaster
compressed is a seed of truth
i found the obediant
way to be
from my a master
who formed the machine


A world taped...

... patched up by a tape of lies
read this now
and looking back
i can't even begin to summarize
the rest is all now taped over with lies
all that i said now is close your eyes
and we will do our best job to keep you alive
and i feel the heart
of a racing engine
and i play the part
of the guy
soul projecting
into the movie screen where oblivion is playing
oh his hearts in vain
at the theatre where everything is showing
all our deepest fears
are in this one machine

searching for a seat inside
a crowded theatre
gathered with friends
who opt to chew
through your biographical life
while you sit and suffer mental deterioration
through the showcase of surreal horrors

right
here
the pornographic images fly onto the silver screen
I'm grinning at the impossible
as my life becomes fictionalized through dreams.
Friends become parodies of characters from TV
life is so uncertain in the dreams

plastic mug full of tear drops

i wish i could save every drop of tear

in a plastic mug,

I wish that I could hold your memory

like a warm rug.

I wish I could make up for the loss

with my escape plan

I wish i could hold you up to the warm light

see your childlike smile looking down on me

I wish i could hold you like a love long

beforre the cold front settles in

i wish i could make a way to give life

and bring you back into my world again

Peace is yummy, Red is loud?

Peace is yummy

Red is loud

Green is sharp

Clouds are motors

on heavens highway

Resistance is futile

I Am Machine

Resistance is futile

I know the code

I cracked the mold

and found the gold

in the seventh circle

in the third layer damned.

peace is yummy

peace is peaceful

Red is red

Green is Green

Clouds are nimbus

Clouds are rectangular

Clouds are visions

upon a spectacle

blue day!

man and machine

it's enough to make your eyes pop

it's enough to give you a head rush to make your heart stop

I can feel it

my body electric, slipping away

heart and soul, my heart deteriates

man and machine,

you the urge to be free

its enough to drive a sane man insane

its enough far too much for you to handle, you dig?

its enough to make your eyes pop

its good enough to make your mouth drop

I can feel it

my body electric, slipping away!

heart and soul, my mind deteriates

man and machine, becoming one

the word

you dig?

bended emotions curve

I feel my legs bending with emotions

just curve me over into an explosion

and flatten me out from this car wreck

until I'm shaped

into your design

flaw.

prove to me this time.

I know the truth is in a wrecked design.

You don't know that its true beauty that shines behind

like a hidden shrine,

The shrine is the machine

he is also me, and me, and me.

The truth of the fact

the matter is

if you let yourself be

its easier to set yourself free

the question is what are you going to do now?

who are you going to be?

You can keep it, you can't take it with you

you can always take it with you when you go

but you can't take it with you when you leave

this life thats from you

You can keep all the warm momentos

you can hold on tight to the memories

until its your time to go

You can always take it with you, the memories

but you can't leave with them, you must leave it all behind

Hell on highway/I don't see a reason/I gave you life

Hell on a highway

Hell is a flat wheel on a busy highway

Heaven is a gas station away

just miles up the road

I'd like to get there soon..

i don't see a reason ....

I don't see the reason why I should be bleeding

on this dark forsaken highway, i'm at a crossroads in my life

and i no longer see the reason why I should be bleeding all this time

all my blood for someone else ( i don't see a reason..)

all my blood for someone else (no reason...)

its coming down to this its blood, love and money

love becomes like money expensive and expendable

one day here and then one day gone tomorrow

and I don't see the reason why I should be bleeding

all this time for you (i don't see a reason).

all this time for you (for why I should be bleeding)

all this time for.....

I gave you life...

and now you are blowing down my breezes

every chance i get

with your heating mechanisms

your tearing a rip through my wind

ripping away my bitter end

leave me breathless on this treacherous road.

I gave you blood just so you know

and I gave you everything a man can give

you rejected my love

I gave you life but you still took because you never had enough

vibrations sizzle, blood i shed

vibrations sizzle,
skin curls, rolls
electricuted
eyes still sizzle
cringing at the drop of blood
the memory that was clear
is now completely gone
just as I am taken over
by the hurt and dessertion
the blood i shed,
no tears.
the wounds i carry
I bled down to my knees
in soul and in mind
the frozen frame of mind
stands alone
inside
and I become taken over
by the hurt and dessertion
the bloodd i shed,
no tars
the wounds i carry
are just reminders
for traces best left forgtten

how did our paths become entwined?
we've never met but it feels I known you all my life, maybe here,
or in a life before me....

detached.

Detached

we live our lives out seperately

incohorent of realization our own actions

spaced out by the dividing line between us,

detached.

only to die alone and unattached

unfelt and unseen, surely

I'm almighty awesome

in a state of fantastic wild euphorium

and I am detached and I like it very much that way

I'm almighty alrighty don't you worry I'll wake up alive

unfelt and unseen, surely you have no regrets for hurting me

You made it perfectly clear when you said your real regret was meeting me

but I'm almighty awesome

yes I don't seek you approval, if its insecurity well call me guilty

you made it perfectly clear i'm not worthy

A Journey

a journey of half

half the journey

has our journey stopped here?

to dream away

to dream to waste

waste away a dream another day

has our journey stopped here?

half a journey. have a second

for half a heart, to give half back

a journey of one

needs half a journey to share it with

a journey of two

and it all starts back with you

has our journey stopped

no the journey has just begun

for two halfs to come together

to make two half one