Written on : Monday Nov 7th, 2007
date of experience: Sunday morning, nov the 6th, 2007, (took place anywhere from 11am-12pm)
It is hard to believe that I am here still today after the shock I put my body through. It was not even a shock.. it was more like going in a truck full speed towards a brick wall without even slowing down. The feeling is so hard to relate to and hard to even concieve. It's a dark a feeling, like a wave clouding everything you are... drowning you within it's vicious currents.
I kid you not I only did one big toke of this Salvia shit and I was fucked.. My first time I felt nothing but I believe it is partly due because I did not inhail it correctly... My second time was...wow...intense...mind-blowing...hard-to-put-my-finger-on-it.
It was a dose possibly too strong for me. I did this the second time out of skeptism. I had no idea what I was in for..I said these exact words...
Guy: Do you feel anything?
Me: No I don't feel anything.....
and suddenly as these words dribbled out of my mouth.. I felt the touch of Salvia creep down the back of my head like a slithering snake. My face felt numb and freezing cold..I believe that Salvia adapts to the environment in which you do it in.. for example : If you do Salvia outside and it's cold or just chilly then Salvia takes that and enhances the feeling.. It amplifies the feeling 100X more colder than it would be for someone who wasn't on drugs.
I have no doubt that it plays with your mind...but only if you let it..but I warn you fighting it doesn't make it any better or any easier.. In fact if you are a newbie extra careful on the amount of Salvia you do.. it's not a joke.. it's the real shit...DO NOT MESS WITH IT! it's a dangerous hallucinogen and I can't believe that it is really legal in Canada.. You can walk to your nearest Big Bee and purchase this potent extract leaf for $15 or $30 or $50
the higher the price the better and more potent the Salvia will be.
Now back to my experience..
As I said these words "I don't feel anything"
the feeling then creeped me up by surprise and held me in it's place for about 5 minutes but if you want to know the real length of my trip.. then it was approximately 10 minutes but it felt like 10 hours... time seemed strained... everything was slower and colder... and when I tried to walk my legs felt unknown to me...
When I look back on my trip.. I think was it all for the better? Did I learn anything? would I do it again?
and the answer to all that is the same YES, YES, YES!
I learned a great deal of knowledge from this.. and even though I was scared shitless at the time it still feels like I somehow benefited from it.
I also later realized that I experienced what is formly known as "Ego-Death", I experienced a loss of my self almost completely and I regained in a new form of mind. I became something, or someone else.. I became...and I kid you not! I became a machine... Well more like a Gear or a wheel in a machine and I could feel a crank turning round and round.. I felt like a toy.. and people that I was hanging around with weren't tripping but they sure saw me trip and I heard them say things behind my back.. i was become increasingly paranoid. I had thought they had set me up. That they knew that I was a toy that they could use... and they told me that "It's time to go back to the factory to get fixed"
that's what I had heard.. It's scary because I felt like now I was not Bryan Sheldrick.. I had became Product No. 7... which was nothing and I had became non-existant... I Had Died! apart of me died and I don't know if it really did die or not but when I think about it something happened and it caused me to lose something that maybe or may not have been there in the first place but I don't know... everything is still hazey and when i was tripping I felt the strong sedated relaxation feeling running through me as well. and everything was just fake and unreal or maybe surreal... everything was distorted and my preception was no longer clear of anything other than the fact that I was FAKE I repeat F.A.K.E.... !
i WAS NOTHING to nobody and nobody was nothing to me... and the wheels and the metal gears were the only things that now mattered in my life... nothing else was there. no one was there just the gears and the faces of my old-friends...but at the time i wasn't even sure if they were even friends.. cos they wanted to take me back to the factory.. and I refused.. I told them I am not ready to go back there... I WAS FIXED! and i don't need anyone to take me anywhere. They convinced me that I was defected and I convinced them that they too were defected fraud-like machines!
I was buttoning up my jacket like I was putting on a suit.. like a toy-suit... if that makes any sense lol. It was a fucked up five minutes.. and i walked back to the shelter and time was slowly disperportioned in such a matter that was hard to lay a finger on it...
I came back in to the shelter and laid down on the couch in the room and clinged to the couch as well as my self. I was holding on for dear life.. praying to god that this trip would soon be over and that I will be alright again and that I will know myself as BRYAN and no longer be "this-old-toy"
whenever I heard that word "HEART" or "BEAT" or "PULSE" I plugged my eyes with my hands trying to tune it out... I didn't want to hear this... I did not want to see this... I did not want to endure this madness bud I had no other choice.. I even recall myself saying "I want to go back, I wish I had never smoked this shit ever" but I knew full well that I couldn't ever, ever, ever, ever go back to finding myself..
after 15 minutes I became aware and I became normal once again..
Do I recommand this ? well maybe and may not.. it has it perks and it's highs but don't be fooled because it can take you on a ride to fucking hell and back in 5 minutes or less.
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